Right away, in the middle of her tears, with heart-felt and crumbly words, she said:
“A hug.”
I was surprised that’s what she said.
I thought she’d want to know that the character in the book was okay – that everything ended happily.
But that’s not what my daughter needed.
She just needed me.
After we hugged and more tears fell, she moved on.
My daughter’s smile returned and she started talking about other things. She just needed to express her feelings with me, to be heard, and comforted.
It’s okay for our kids to feel sad.
If we always try to tidy it all up, our kids will miss a crucial step of knowing what it looks like to be real and how to process emotions.
It’s good for them to experience different emotions, express them, and navigate through their feelings with us. It will help them be more emotionally mature.
If you’re one of those mamas who wants to jump in to fix, to quickly wipe the tears away, and bring forth a smile as fast as possible, I can relate.
But, that’s often not what our kids need.
The next time our kids are sad, instead of meeting the need in our way, let’s listen and then ask them, “What do you need?”
Not only will this help our children work through emotions, but it will also let them know that we are a safe place where they can always open up and be heard.
