Those were the things I really wanted, and they felt like needs. The helpful thing was to get away and have some help with the house. My husband told me to leave (in the nicest, pushiest way), and so I left for a couple of hours. When I came home, he had WASHED THE SHEETS (that was a new one!) and cleaned our bedroom. He said, “I know we can’t afford you going away or getting a maid, but I wanted you to feel like you had a clean, relaxing space to be in. Also, I’m going to take the kids out for the day so you can have the house to yourself.” GLORY HALLELUJAH. Revival was about to take place.
What I learned in this was to be honest with my needs (or what would really help), knowing that they might not all get met, but to ask and say them anyway.
Have a “Horn of Gondor”
In the Lord of the Rings there is a scene where Frodo and his friends are in trouble. One of the men blows a loud horn, the Horn of Gondor, and it is a call for help. When it’s used you know that help is on the way.
That is how I feel about my friends. When one of us calls, when we feel downcast or worried or unsure or just need a night out, they rally. Help is on the way.
We don’t always need fixed but we do need to know we aren’t alone and that help is on the way.
Reach out to your friends. Let yourself be vulnerable enough to let them in. Don’t hide. And if you don’t have close friends, ask God for them. I have made the best of friends in my 30’s. If you’re still looking for deep, honest, safe, grace-filled, fun friendship, don’t give up. Keep praying, keep looking, keep asking. It’s all worth it. It’s all a gift.
(Looking for some time away with women who GET IT? Check out A Night to Breathe.)
These are the women I do battle with. They are my sisters, dear friends, and I know when I call HELP IS ON THE WAY.
Use Other Words with Your Kids But Also Be Honest
When talking to your kids in the midst of losing your mind, replace “OH MY GRACIOUS OF ALL HOLY THINGS LEAVE NOW OR I’M GOING TO I DON’T EVEN KNOW!” to, “YOU ARE A GREAT KID! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” You know what I’m sayin’. K. Don’t put your crazy on them. At least try not to. When/if you do, ask forgiveness.
Be honest with the fact that you do NOT have your stuff together, but that it’s not them, it’s you, because really, IT IS. Kind of. Mostly. Point being, YOU NEED JESUS. Tell them. Show them. DESPERATE FOR JESUS. They are watching real life unfold. If we’re honest, we can show them that life might be hard sometimes, but we can overcome with Jesus…He is our help, our strength, and our gentle Father. He listens to us and He cares. Let your kids see this.
And lastly, for now…
Get Out and Make Some Fun
Sometimes, in the midst of the crazy, you just have to get out and make some fun.
On October 5th I loaded my kids in my mini-van and drove 40 minutes to get free coffee at a Pop-up Luke’s Diner for a Gilmore Girls event. Did my kids have any idea about the Gilmore Girls? Not really. They’re too young, but you know what, WE HAD FUN. I made a spur of the moment decision to go when I couldn’t find anyone to go with. It broke up the monotony of the day (of the month?) and it was a memory made.
Sometimes you just gotta go for it!
Here’s the thing, all of us moms will have those days, those weeks, those months. But we will make it. We will keep on.
If you are feelin’ it, the burn-out, you are not crazy and you are not alone. You are normal. You will get through this. You just might need a horn of Gondor and some coffee. All your work as a mom, loving, nurturing, teaching, dealing with conflict, and “one more kiss goodnight”? It’s totally worth it.
Keep on sister.
Love, Sarah Mae
P.S. You might also need A NIGHT TO BREATHE. It’s an event I’m hosting with my dear friend Amy Smoker. It’s a time to get away, relax, enjoy, eat, drink, and be filled up so you can go home refreshed Also, cupcakes and clean sheets. Check out the details HERE.
This article originally appeared at SarahMae.com.
