Parenting the Strong Willed Child
I had another decade with this son that included praying, arguing, talking, arguing, losing it, repenting, praying, talking, and so on. But this one moment on his bunk bed was pivotal in my understanding of how to steward this gift of a son.
Here are the principles that carried me through:
- Do not question the design God placed in them. Stubbornness, energy, opinionated tendencies, talkativeness, etc., are all abilities ready to be honed into powerful weapons for Kingdom work. These are the ingredients needed in great leaders!
- Do not EVER compromise. Strong willed kids need to know down to their toes that their parents mean what they say. They are on the hunt for weakness. NEVER be weak.
- Craft opportunities for them to lead. They need practice while under your guidance to develop ways to lovingly apply their leadership abilities.
- LOVE THEM. Cuddle up next to them, walk alongside them, assist them. Give them a vision about how God can use their uniqueness. Since parenting this child often involves difficult conflict, it is vital to grab onto opportunities to be on their side and to have fun.
- PRAY. Pray for each character quality that you are afraid will land them behind bars! Ask God to use those very things to the glory of His name. Timid souls do not slay dragons. Rather it is the stubborn, loud, talkative, justice-bent, head-of-steel, resolve-of-granite person who is not only willing to charge the wall, but can also rally the troops to follow.
Dear parent of an extremely strong willed child, have hope! Believe God- He has beautiful plans for this bottle of terror and potential. As parents of this type of child we have been called into a special work of the Lord. We cannot do it without continually and completely leaning into the Lord’s wisdom and instruction.
Pray to the Creator of your child. There are beautiful and surprising tactics He will show you. Be strong and very courageous! This son, who almost was the end of me, is now a dragon-slayer. He loves his wife well and cares for his family. He stands for justice. He is still as stubborn as the day is long, but God gave him a path where that is a requirement.
So parent that strong willed child to the glory of God and by the skin of your teeth! God is right beside you the whole time.
“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all. ”
— 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17; 3:16, ESV)
This article originally appeared SusanKMacias.com.
