Growing up I always knew I would have a career. I dreamed of being a magazine editor one day, refining the words and thoughts of writers so we could share them beautifully with the world. That was long before blogging or social media were on my radar, before even AOL and instant messaging chats and realizing that you could connect with other creatives from around the world.
I still love editing. As much as I work in social media, editing is still what I love. I never did find that job, but God has continued to open doors to allow me to use what I love to serve Him, and others. Transitioning from college to a job I thought would be temporary, which turned into a career I learned to love then lost, then to ministry work and now trying to navigate life as a self-employed mama? It’s been hard and it’s been imperfect – and that has been perfectly frustrating.
For the last week or so, that “mama” part of my title has definitely fallen under “perfectly frustrating.” I’ve done all the wrong things, said all the wrong things, had all the wrong reactions. The thing is, my little girl is in that hard stage where she is discovering how much she can do on her own, and the emotions that come with being unable to do EVERYTHING on her own. And as we’re encouraging her in her passions for art and creating, she’s struggling to control those big emotions that fill a little body when the image or idea in her head doesn’t turn out exactly the way she wanted it to.
She’s learning that life isn’t perfect, and she’s perfectly frustrated by it.
And, much like my own reactions when life doesn’t turn out the way that I wish it would, she gets angry. She cries, she calls her hard work “junk” and she doubts the gifts God has given her. I’ve pitched a few of those fits before.
