If we take one step back, we’ll see, dear wives, that what’s at the heart of mothering our husbands is pride and arrogance. We think we know what is best, and we want to lay down the law as if our husbands have underdeveloped brains or no common sense. It’s not our job to keep our husbands in line. And, truth be told, nagging and nitpicking and punishing and withholding good things from our husbands doesn’t work.
It just breeds resentment and widens the divide between us.
I know that many of you who are reading this are thinking that you wouldn’t treat your husband like a child if he didn’t act like one. I get that. I really do. But, as long as we are slipping into the role of being his mother instead of his wife, we are only perpetuating the cycle.
All those Facebook memes have got it wrong. You aren’t the adult trying to deal with a stubborn child. You are a full-grown, feeling, thinking woman in a partnership with a full-grown, feeling, thinking man. It doesn’t really matter if we feel like our husbands behave in childish ways. If we approach them like they’re men, if we hold them to the high standards of manhood, especially godly manhood, then we are much more likely to get a manly response instead of a childish one.
And, in return, I hope that our husbands will hold us to the high standards of godly womanhood. Because Christian marriage works best when we are acting as iron sharpening iron, instead of being so focused on our own wants and needs and desires that we cut each other off before we can make each other better.
So, pray for your husband. Let God change him. Let God change you. And, don’t settle for the unsatisfying job of trying to be a second mother to your man. You will wind up feeling frustrated and rejected every time. Let God work in your husband’s life, and be a faithful partner and friend, showing him that you respect him as a man rather than sending the message that he is nothing more than an incompetent child in your eyes.
This article originally appeared Your Mom Has a Blog.
