Precious child of mine. I don’t think of you nearly enough. I only knew about you for three days and then in a blur of pain, surgery and blood, you were gone.
I barely had time to celebrate your coming before I was mourning your unavoidable departure. You were, quite literally, “here today, gone tomorrow.”
You were maybe all of eight weeks old but you were growing in the wrong place inside of me. You were in my fallopian tube, not my uterus, what they call an ectopic pregnancy. You were in the wrong place but you couldn’t have known. I didn’t know either except, brief as you were a part of me, it never felt right, even for the short time I celebrated your existence.
I don’t know why I don’t think about you more. Maybe it’s just too painful, maybe I know there’s no point. Like David said after his son died,
“I shall go to him but he shall not return to me…” 2 Samuel 12:23.
Although I’m pretty sure you’re a ‘she’ and not a ‘he’. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know.
And as sure as I know anything, I know you’re alive right now. There’s just a thin veil that separates us, a veil that will evaporate one day. I know you’re waiting for me and your dad and I’m certain and sure you’ve met your other family members that have already made it to heaven.
You don’t know your big sister though, so I want to take a minute and tell you about her.
She was only 28 months old when you burst into and out of our lives that Labor Day weekend back in 1987. Monday September 7, that was the day you left us.
Your sister’s name is Francesca and she is an amazing daughter and a fabulous wife and mother of four adorable kiddos. You have three nephews, Eli, Isaac and Wyatt and one niece, Audrey. I’m certain they would have loved you and I know they will one day when they meet you in heaven. You should know, they love family dance parties so, get your dancing shoes ready!
Anyway, your sister, we call her Franny, she is beautiful and has long brown hair and big blue eyes. I bet you anything the two of you would have been inseparable BFF’s.
Franny loves to sing (she takes after me in that), she’s a great cook, she writes songs and can play guitar and she has a great sense of humor, just like your dad. She’s super smart and she loves Jesus with all her heart. I know she would’ve loved you too and you would have had the best big sister you could have asked for.
