The Best Way to Practice Self Care is to Care Less

self care

Maybe the best way to practice self care is to care less.

About what everyone else thinks. About who likes you and who doesn’t. About how you compare to the next woman in line. About what all the other moms are doing and how they’re doing it. About everyone else’s definition of success.

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About the expectations that society piles onto your shoulders. About a Pinterest worthy home or popularity. About wearing the right clothes or driving the right car. About matching furniture or coordinating outfits for your kids – about trying send the message that your life fits perfectly into a box on Instagram.

About keeping up appearances. About creating the illusion that your family is picture-perfect at all times. About the idea that your kids must forever be entertained. About the school they go to or the activities they participate in. About what people think your kids should or shouldn’t be doing. About what people think YOU should or shouldn’t be doing.

self care

And honestly, maybe the best way to practice self-care is to care just a little bit less about yourself. There is freedom in letting go. In not getting so wrapped up in your appearance, your title, your status, your accomplishments (or lack thereof) that the pressure of it all steals your joy. Your calm.

You don’t have to live up to everyone else’s expectations. You don’t have to please everyone. Their happiness isn’t your responsibility. And frankly, you don’t have that kind of power anyway.

Respect yourself and respect others. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. Be compassionate. Reach a hand out to those who need it. Serve those whom you are called to serve. Raise decent human beings. But don’t compare. Or compete. Or do it all. You do not have to spend precious time or consume precious brain space caring about all the things this world says are important, but aren’t actually.

Maybe self-care is not caring about what everyone else is doing and simply taking a look at what you are doing – and if what you are doing is right, let that be enough.

Maybe the best way to practice self-care is to stop caring about worldly expectations – to stop trying to live up to them all. To stop fretting about all things minor. To stop rushing through your days in a tizzy trying to keep up with everyone else. You don’t have to care about all the things that won’t matter in a day, a year, a hundred years – and there are a lot, right?

Maybe the best way to practice self care is to care less about what’s happening on the outside and pay more attention to what’s happening on the inside. Maybe it’s not manicures and massages. Maybe it’s being still, praying, and listening expectantly for God. Maybe it’s shutting out the noise and simply listening for the only voice that matters.

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This post originally appeared at A Beautifully Burdened Life by Jenny Albers, published with permission.


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Jenny Albers
Jenny Albers is a full-time mom who feels blessed to call the midwest home. She is raising two earth babies and remembering two heaven babies. You can find her (trying) to keep up with her personal blog, A Beautifully Burdened Life, when she has.a few minutes to spare. Her work can also be found at Her View From Home, Love What Matters, Pregnancy After Loss Support, Scary Mommy, That's Inappropriate, and various other spaces around the web.