For the Wife Who Doesn’t Feel Like Celebrating Valentine’s Day

It’s no secret to those who know me well that my marriage isn’t perfect. Whose is, really?

So maybe you’ve spent time there lately, struggling in marriage, battling  through in that part of the vows that we all like to ignore – the “for worse?”

And with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, your pain is magnified because while everyone else is celebrating love, you’re left wondering where the love has gone.

Perhaps you don’t even want to celebrate Valentine’s Day at all?

You’re not alone.

I’ve been in that place, too.

Early on in our marriage, my husband revealed a secret about past trauma that he had kept hidden for years. He had survived things as a child that nearly made me vomit when I heard them, yet he never spoke a word!

That revelation (and other difficult circumstances) led to a really dark time in our marriage.

After talking with some trusted friends, we finally sought professional help, but it was years later before we learned that my husband really struggled with PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder). Yes, the kind that soldiers get when they’ve been to war, only his was induced by childhood trauma.

At some point, I began to wonder – who is this man that I married? Followed by the thought –this isn’t what I signed up for.

Jen Stults
Jen Stults
Grown missionary kid, mother of four, and wife to a pastor, Jen is a work-in-progress woman who is learning to be confident in Christ. She writes about the struggle to embrace everyday grace at Being Confident of This. Discipler, writer, and speaker, Jen encourages women who feel frustrated by failure and plagued by perfectionism to seek freedom in Christ so they can experience the abundant life He has planned for them.

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