You crank your stereo up when you’re alone in your car and you love going to concerts, yet you settled for a woman who can’t stand loud music. You’ve settled for someone who wakes up at the crack of dawn even though you prefer to stay up late at night. I’ve settled for someone who hates the beach even though it’s one of my favorite places. You, an Italian-American from New York, settled for someone who thinks pasta and bread are not a big deal. I, the avid reader, settled for you, who rarely cracks open a book. Imagine the passion, excitement, lust, joy, adventure and contentment we would have missed had we decided we could not settle for one another.
You don’t make me feel like I’m always the center of your world
When I was a little girl, I thought that “happily ever after” might actually exist, even though I never saw it in real life. I’m glad you don’t try to make me happy every single day. Thank you for being smart enough to know that it’s not your job to make me happy. If I couldn’t find happiness within myself, nothing you do or say could instantly turn me into a happy woman. You’ve spared me from failed attempts at cheering me up or sweeping me off my feet during times when I just need a few minutes to cool down. I’m glad your life isn’t dedicated to making me smile all the damn time because a life of nothing but smiles is not a real life. I’m glad you don’t constantly compliment me/encourage me/inspire me/esteem me and that you don’t make me feel like I’m the center of your world every single day.
Don’t you think we would miss out on some amazing make-up sex if you were so perfect that we never got into a fight? We’d be so good at pretending to be happy that we wouldn’t know what real happiness felt like. I’ll take the life that we have and all of its challenges, victories and struggles over a futile attempt at non-stop happiness any day.
You’ll never tell me everything I need to hear
I know that you will almost always be here when I need you, but since you’re not a mind reader, sometimes I will have to ask. Grief, strife, fear and disappointment will make both of us fall short for one another once in awhile. Thank you for always taking care of yourself first. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be able to care for me during times when I really need you. And even though you’ll never tell me everything I need to hear (again, because you’re not a mind reader), if I look closely enough, I can see your love, appreciation and admiration for me in so many things that you do.
I’m glad you threw the fairy tale away long before you met me. And there’s no one else in this sometimes crazy, sometimes dreary, sometimes beautiful, sometimes ugly world I’d rather have by my side. While it’s fun to share our dreams, discuss our fantasies and pretend that little problems don’t exist from time to time, I don’t know if I could enjoy reality with any other person as much as I enjoy it with you.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
This article originally appeared on The Advertiser, published with permission.
