‘I’m Mean to Myself’—How One Mom Started Living Love by Telling the Truth

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. 

My then-seven-year-old daughter didn’t move. 

I sat down on the edge of her bed and began saying things I’d never said to another human being—not even myself. 

“Natalie, I am mean to myself inside, and I take it out on you,” I whispered, my voice quivering with pain. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how, but I pray I can change. I am determined to try.”

Natalie did not cry or look afraid. She looked unmistakably hopeful.

The truth was not the end; it was the beginning. 

Looking back on that moment now, I realize that’s when my humanness stopped being a scary secret. With relief, I realized: Perfect parenting is not required to raise resilient, compassionate, and capable adults. In fact, the more human we are about our struggles, our stumbles, and our insecurities, the more we allow our kids to be human. Showing up as our most authentic selves creates connection, allowing us to become a trusted guide for kids as they navigate life’s challenges.

But how? How do we even begin to accept our humanness when we have spent years plastering on a smile, powering through pain, and dismissing our deepest needs?

I believe we begin by finding an outlet. 


Rachel Macy Stafford
Rachel Macy Stafford
Rachel is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama and Hands Free Life, as well as a certified special education teacher and inspiring speaker. Millions find solace and direction in her weekly blog posts at handsfreemama.com and supportive Facebook community. The Hands Free Revolution. Rachel’s latest work of heart, ONLY LOVE TODAY, is soulful, bite-size encouragement for busy individuals yearning to anchor themselves in love despite everyday distractions, pressures, and discord. “Only Love Today” began as a mantra to overcome her inner bully, but it is now the practice of Rachel Macy Stafford’s life. It can be a practice for all of us with Only Love Today. This National bestseller is available at Target, Barnes & Noble, LifeWay, and Amazon.

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