2. Hold to faith over fear
Fear can literally cripple me as a mother of Black boys. It’s not just stories in the news. I know tons of people who have had horrific things happen to them due to racism that will never make the news. I’ve encountered doctors, lawyers, and various other professionals who have been treated horribly because of the color of their skin.
I’ve known numerous people that have been scared for their lives when they have been pulled over for a routine traffic stop. Not because of the news, but because they have seen some horrible things happen to people they know.
You have to understand, we don’t teach our kids the police are bad. We tell them that, sadly, racists and hateful people exist in every line of work. We teach them to emotionally move past it and remain above it. It may be the sales associate in a department store watching you closely as you shop; a hiring manager that won’t hire you even when you are over-qualified; or a police officer who thinks you are a “thug” because you aren’t wearing a suit and tie.
This type of treatment has happened for decades. History demonstrates that American institutions, including the application of government and law enforcement, was never designed for Blacks to benefit. While there’s been progress, this is nothing new…systemic inequality has always existed. There are, however, many people who want it to no longer exist. People are more aware and sensitive to the effects of inequality, due in part to social media. They don’t want it to continue. I am so encouraged by that. However, my boys need to know this, see it for what it’s worth, and understand the progression.
Fear due to these realities is normal. We believe faith is so much better than any fear. We believe and teach our boys that God has the final say. Our prayers will be answered for these three amazing boys. We teach them to trust in the God of the universe, pray when scared, lean on Him, and share with Him every concern they have.
Fear is debilitating and gets you nowhere. I have literally been sick to my stomach about fears for when my boys go to college, rather than focusing on the stage of life we are in right now. Today, I don’t need to worry about that. I can trust God for having an amazing plan for their lives, and I know He will protect and keep them. I encourage my boys to do the same thing.
We are intentional with spending time together as a family. We talk about hard situations, normal daily life, and the concerns they have in school, friends, or home life. We listen and encourage them to always fall into their faith. To always have hope that anything can change…things will get better. God’s will has the final say.
3. You can do ANYTHING
The world may tell them they can only be successful if they play a professional sport or become a rapper or drug dealer. We teach them that they can actually do anything they dream of doing. We encourage them to dream, give them a variety of experiences, and imagine different ways they could use their incredible minds to make a difference in this world.
We believe if they work hard enough, remain focused, and keep pushing they will reach their dreams. Statistically it is just a fact…they will have to work twice as hard to prove themselves due to many negative stereotypes, but they can do it! Hard work will pay off. It doesn’t mean anything will be easy, it doesn’t mean people won’t be disrespectful, or turn you down when you know you should get the job, but if you keep pushing you will make it.
My husband and I hope and pray we can build them up in the years they are under our roof, to be confident in the amazing individuals God has created them to be. As a mom, I must believe the world around us will continue to improve, and racism will continue to diminish. I believe my boys will reach every goal and dream they have, and they will cross paths with people who see their potential and appreciate the amazing human beings they are. I believe these three will do big things!
