If I were to say that being a mom of three Black boys is easy, I would be lying. I don’t see them as any different than any other kid. I am also very aware of a challenging reality…there are people in this world who will judge them before ever getting to know them.
My three boys are well-behaved, compassionate, considerate, respectful, obedient, loving, and caring. They inspire me daily. I wish I only had to teach them the lessons all parents usually teach their children. It breaks my heart to feel I have to do more, and speak on other subjects that other parents don’t. It is the world we live in. There are people who are angry, hateful, and don’t respect people because of the color of their skin. America has history with mainstream acceptance of negative conceptions and judgments of Blacks. In many ways, this has drastically improved. While this limited judgment is less tolerable, it isn’t extinct. Some people feel it hasn’t improved due to their awful realities and painful experiences. Because of this, my husband and I have to go the extra mile in the way we parent our three precious sons.
There are really endless lessons that are important to teach them, but these three are the ones this mom has really focused on another level.
1. You are wonderfully made
We encourage our kids to memorize and embrace what God says about them. We want them to remember how precious they are in His eyes…and in ours. We have times where we all sit at the table, asking the boys to name what is amazing about them, and what makes them unique.
It is important for them to know their worth, seeing there is nothing wrong with them. They have amazing and unique qualities. Building up their self-esteem is incredibly important in these years they are under our roof. I know they will question their value and how others view them at some point in life. That is why having a foundation of extreme self-worth is critically important.
I was raised in an incredibly loving household with parents who love each other beautifully. They built up my sister and me like it was their full-time job. We were always being encouraged and praised. This is something I later realized is rare, regardless of ethnic background. This definitely instilled a great confidence in me.
There were times growing up, especially in high school, when I questioned my worth. I struggled with it badly. Negative racial comments said to me by various people in the all-white Christian school I attended did not help. If my parents didn’t make our self-worth a priority, I can’t imagine where I would be. The negativity would have affected my entire life. My parents’ intentionality didn’t leave me super prideful and thinking I was better than everyone. I leaned on great qualities I believed about myself.
My hope and prayer for my boys is that we would build their confidence so they will never feel defeated. In whatever comes their way, they will stand strong, knowing how amazing God made them.