Well played, kid. Well played.
15. I don’t even think you can call this one a #ParentingFail.
Kids are just actually savages.
16. Your swagger wagon is actually a dump.
“How my kids see my car…”
17. Are you really even a parent if you haven’t been puked on?
“Mommin’ aint easy.”
18. These little blessings will always find a way to ruin things.
“My wife cutting my daughter’s skirt out of a scooter axel on Mother’s Day.”
19. There’s always something to be invented.
“Today I learned that if you let your child pour their own syrup, they will make ‘Pancake Soup.'”
20. Having a kid means you’ll never match a pair of these suckers ever again.
“30 of my kids’ socks. Not a single pair. I don’t even remember us buying so many socks.”
21. They never fail to amaze us.
“Have a baby they said. It will be fun they said.” (Decibel meter for reference).
22. They are intriguing specimens.
“I gave my 2-year-old a slice of cheese to eat while she was watching Paw Patrol. Then I checked on her a minute later.”
23. In case you didn’t know, Crayola goes with just about anything.
“Don’t let your child use your laptop.”
24. Having a 5-year-old roommate isn’t really all that different from having a drunk 25-year-old roommate.
25. THIS is parenthood.
“Girls’ room wasn’t getting warm so I took apart their vent. I now have a great way to illustrate what it’s like to have four children.”
26. You can kiss freedom goodbye…Literally.
“Sometimes you get a playpen to keep the kid out.”
27. It’s a bloodbath my friends.
“Toddler gets ahold of lipstick.”
28. I’m telling you, kids are savages.
“This apple my son was ‘done with.'”
29. You’ll never know personal space again.
“I got one child to nap. The other one is stubborn.”
30. It only takes one shower to ruin everything.
“The one and only time I forgot to put up the baby gate before I showered.”
31. And it really is no wonder why moms begin to tune things out.
“Kept track of how many times my 3-year-old asked me ‘why’ in one day.”
