Pregnant and unwed teenager Maddi Runkles was the subject of countless news reports earlier this year after the administration at her private Christian high school refused to allow her to walk in its graduation ceremonies in order to “teach a lesson regarding her immorality.”
While I understand the school’s desire to teach their students lessons about the consequences of sin, I also think the events in Maddi’s life could have provided students with a lesson about grace — the grace that caused Jesus to tell a woman living in sin “neither do I condemn you — go and sin no more.”
I know something about this. You see, once upon a time, I was Maddi Runkles. I also became pregnant outside of marriage while barely out of my teen years.
Driven by fear I hid my pregnancy for five months, and I knew that the shame and guilt I carried would only amplify — plus usher in condemnation once others learned my secret. Was I up for this?
Like Maddi Runkles I was raised in a Christian home where we upheld Christian principles and embraced Biblical values. In fact my father was a pastor — and this further enhanced my anxiety as I struggled to tell my parents about my pregnancy. It weighed heavily on me, especially in knowing that another decision – a secret one to not have my baby could rid me of being shamed by others.
The day I finally mustered up the strength and courage and confided in my father, something extraordinary happened.
My father’s shoulders sagged and he hung his head. Momentarily we sat in silence, me holding my breath awaiting his reaction while wearing the weight of his certain disappointment and possible anger. Then there was the indescribable and overwhelming feeling of shame that washed over me in waves.
My father finally raised his head and looked at me with tears in his eyes. “Honey,” he said, “I am so disappointed. I am.”
Now it was my turn to hang my head.
“And you have made poor choices which now have consequences,” he continued.
“It won’t be easy — and there will be struggles and a hard path ahead of you. But I love you —- and now I figure I have been given more to love.”
Wait, what?! My mouth was agape. Before I could respond my father got up from his chair and reached over and wrapped me in his arms and simply held me.
It was just what I needed and not anything I expected.
Tears ran down my face, “I am so sorry, dad. I am so sorry! Will you forgive me?”
“Of course.”
What I encountered was something I had never fully grasped before though I had been taught for years.
Grace.
I didn’t get what I deserved, but I certainly fully received what I had been taught.
Grace swept over me and unleashed its power connecting both with my head and and my heart.
