I Don’t Want My Body Back

It’ll do.

When I was pregnant with my first child, the arches of my feet fell and I had some serious pain in my feet and knees. I now have really flat feet, but I don’t even want my old feet back. The fact that I can’t go barefoot without my left leg going numb is a reminder of my precious son. After I finished nursing my second child my straight hair became wavy. After about nine years it’s finally going back to straight…and I am kinda sad. Straight hair is easier but those wild waves were a constant reminder to me of all the amazing ways my daughter has changed my life.

One day, my mama friends, my house will no longer be filled with children. My body will be older and saggier then it even is right now at age 40. But on that body will still be the reminders of the fact that I gave birth to three beautiful children. And when they no longer live in my home, the lines on my stomach will be a reminder that they will always live in my heart. I can look at those lines and hear their laughter, I can place my hand on what I fondly refer to as my “C-section gut” and remember them kicking inside my body. I can comb through my gray hair and fondly remember which of their antics turned which strands of my dark hair a paler shade.

Mamas, I don’t want my body back. And it’s OK if you don’t either. Don’t let anyone tell you that your old, pre-kid body should be your goal, and as you look in the mirror, or wash yourself in the shower, give thanks for each part of you that brought a child into this world.

Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson
Jenny is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor.

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