Parenting is all the things: joy-filled and tear-stained, sweet and maddening, precious and frustrating. I don’t presume to be God, but His Word is clear on perfection, grace, and His endless love. This is a letter written to you from God’s perspective based on His truth to remind us of who we are as moms. If you’d like a listing of resources that have helped me as I’ve moved away from trying to be Good Mom, click here. Please enjoy the truth God wants to speak over you.
Dear daughter of Mine, who has children of her own,
I see you. I see you working hard, managing logistics, guiding and protecting. I see you, and I love you like crazy.
Let’s sit together, just you and Me. I want to share truths with your fragile heart, truths that you need to hear.
I want you to know that you’re a good mom.
In fact, you’re a very good mom. I’ve been calling my people “very good” since “in the beginning.” And you are no different.
It’s true. Yet, I hear you answer back, “But I just…” as you list your sins to me.
But don’t you remember that these sins are forgiven? That they were nailed to the tree and you bear them no more? This includes the guilt. When you ask me for forgiveness, I’m faithful and just to forgive you. Now turn and go a different direction.
However, I’ve noticed a trend. You’ve created a new law, the one you call “Good Mom,” the one you feel pressured to fulfill.
The law of Good Mom seems to be a narrowly-defined enigma who has all the talents and skills you lack.
Good Mom is a crafty creative when you don’t know how to thread a needle.
Good Mom serves organic vegetables that bring her praise from her children when you go through the drive-through…again.
Good Mom plays Barbie and Legos for countless hours when you’d rather work on a spreadsheet.
Good Mom is always upbeat, patient, available to meet needs, and she’s never tired when you feel crabby and frustrated.
Good Mom has children who always obey, make good grades, and exhibit perfect table manners in public when your kids, well, don’t.
Daughter, I didn’t create the law of Good Mom.
Instead, it brings Me glory when you’re the person I created you to be, to use your gifts and talents to love on your kids, and to live in and stand on grace.
My Word doesn’t give too many prescriptive instructions on exactly how to parent, which gives you freedom to be who you are and to raise your kids in an individualized way. I’m a God of expanse and infinite options of goodness.
Here’s how I know you’re a very good mom: you love your children, and you parent by faith. If you feel like you’re lacking, simply cry out, “Jesus. Help!” I’m here.
I want you to know that you’re not perfect.
You’re striving to parent perfectly because you love your children, take this role seriously, and know how much is at stake.
But some of this striving comes from fear.
You fear that you’re not spending enough time with your children, that you’re not feeding them the right things, or that you’re letting the TV raise them. You worry that they’re starting to copy all the things you don’t like about yourself.
You fear you’re not good enough.
Who said you had to be enough? I’m the One who is enough. When you accept this, you can stop trying to prove yourself…doesn’t that sound like freedom? When you accept your weakness, I can be your strength. Let your weakness be an alarm in your soul to remind you to talk to Me.
You fear that you have to hold it together.
You’re the one who plans meals, knows the schedule, and stays up waiting for curfew to come. What would it look like if you dropped the ball? Here’s the deal: you’re going to drop the ball. At some point, you’ll forget to pick up a kid somewhere. You’ll send him to school without lunch. You’ll give bad advice. You’ll lose your temper. And My grace redeems it all.
You fear falling apart.
But I didn’t design you to be perfect and to hold it all together. I created you to be dependent, to be obedient, and to trust Me. I’m the only One who holds all things together.
You fear getting it wrong.
Some of the striving comes from your belief that you’re responsible for figuring all this out. You read every book, listen to every podcast, talk to every friend, and yet, you feel completely stumped on what to do and how to handle things. You’re playing mommy-whack-a-mole, and you’re exhausted.
Daughter, remember that I’m the One who dreamed up the idea of parenting and created you to be your child’s parent. Do you think that I’m going to leave you on your own? You aren’t alone—I equip you with what you need. Call My name when you need help, and I’ll answer.
Here’s one final thing to remember.
My beloved daughter, parenting is not, has never been, and will never be about you having it all together, the success of your kids, or fulfilling the law of Good Mom. Parenting is how I further your sanctification.
Motherhood is a divine opportunity for Me to come alongside you, to love you, and for you to turn to Me because you feel so utterly not-enough.
Hear me: You’re a very good mom.
With you always,
Your Eternal Dad
This article originally appeared at JillEMcCormick.com. For more goodness, check out her site and subscribe!