At some point I allowed work to become my thing. It took over my life, including my family. I’ve convinced myself that being the person who gets things done is who I am and it’s what people expect of me. Don’t dismiss this if you’re a stay-at-home mom because your house, your kids, church events, all of that can become your identity and land you in the exact same place. Guess what? This isn’t going to fix itself.
This isn’t healthy for me anymore. It never was. I got a lot of things done but I also lost myself along the way. I don’t want to miss out on my kids anymore. Our family needs to come first. Please don’t follow the path as far as I did because turning around is hard.
Fixing this means that people are going to be disappointed because there are going to be more no’s. The house might not be perfectly clean and it might take me longer to get things done but I’m going to pull in those who are closest to me and pour into them. My husband, my family, my dearest friends—they’re the ones who need me most. The world will keep spinning without me intervening. If we’re too busy to have fun with our people then we’ve missed the first step to living our dreams.
Why does it even matter?
My girls are watching. I want them to be strong and independent, ambitious and dedicated, but I also want them to enjoy life. There is a season to everything and sometimes life really is hard but if I can’t show them how much I love them and how much I enjoy them, what is it really worth? As they race towards adulthood, I want to be the type of mama they want to be, someone who loves her people deeply and shows them how to work hard and dream big without giving up on her family.
I want this for me and for you, for our children and our husbands. I’ve never shared one of my prayers with you before but I think we both need this one.
Please dear Jesus, lead me. Show me where you want me to be. Show me how to change, what to let go of, who to hold tight to. Help me release this life that I created apart from you. Open my eyes and heart to where you want me to be. Help me be grateful for what I have and to stop longing for the next thing. Show me how to be the mama I want my daughters to see. Teach me how to enjoy my life, just as you have given it to me. Take away the guilt that I place on myself. Free me to have fun.
This article originally appeared here.
