We Are Forgetting About Our Boys — And That’s Not OK

our boys

I’m fearful that we forget about our boys.

That may be a convicting statement to lead with, but it’s something that concerns me, and I bet it might worry you too.

I scroll my Facebook newsfeed and scour the internet for an abundance of minutes a day including those very minutes I am expected to and should be present.

Article after article is about our daughters and how dire it is for us to raise them to be strong, self-sufficient, and capable. How crucial it is that they are encouraged to use their voice, own and tell their story, and never cower in the face of a man — one or many.

As a mother of two gorgeous — inside and out — daughters under the age of seven, I read all the articles.

I read them, and then I reread them, and I try my darnedest to use the suggestions, heed the advice, and pull out every ounce of wisdom and instruction that I can with the hopes that it may guide me to motherhood success in the raising girls department.

But, please hear this.

I have a boy, too.

He is four and a half, and he is my world.

He is funny, clever, super-intelligent, curious, excitable, and emotional.

He has the awe-inspiring ability — with hardly trying — to bring a smile to your face with one word or facial expression.

He is as authentic as they come and he wears his (and probably mine, as well) emotions on his sleeve, and they drive most of his actions throughout the day.

He is loving and giving and open-minded, and he already embodies so very many of the traits I seek to manifest in myself.

Yet, article after article is about raising daughters, not sons. And, when I do come across an essay on raising sons, it’s about how and why we need to raise our boys with particular values for the sake of the females and daughters of the world.

This is something I’m not entirely on board with.

Yes, I’m a happy passenger on the train that drives our children to the destination off being “good” human beings, but I don’t agree with the idea that we should be raising our boys (because in a collective sense, children of the world belong to all of us) a certain way for the benefit of the females of the world.

Our boys get to be their own benefit.

Our boys simply get to “be;” just like our girls.

There may be a plethora of men with unimpressive bad character roaming around these days, but, not by a long shot, are all men and boys morally deficient. This is not obvious to most because of the grand-scale of derogatory, unspecific, or general comments made about “boys these days.”

Listen, if I were to inform you about today’s boys based off of my four-foot main man and letting him just be, here’s what I would tell you.

Boys are the best.

Boys rock.

Boys are strong.

Boys are protective.

Boys are kind.

Boys are silly.

Boys are hardworking.

Boys are inquisitive.

Boys are giving.

Boys are fun.

Boys are intelligent.

Boys are forgiving.

Boys are everything that girls are.

Boys are complicated (in a good way).

And boys are important.

Boys are just as important as girls.

Here, repeat that:

Boys are just as important as girls.

BUT, boys will only be these things, if we, as their parents and society, avow that they are.

Still, I can only hope, though, that most of the pint-sized gents in our homes hold an innate exceptional sense of self-worth that will persist despite an unfortunate lack of backing from the general public.

Article after article needs to contest how dire it is for us to raise our girls and boys to be strong, self-sufficient, and capable.

It is of uber-importance that our sons are encouraged to use their voice, own and tell their story, and never cower in the face of other men (or women); one or many.

To raise a good human being — female, male, or nonconforming — we must hold, encourage, and perpetuate the belief that no gender is worthier or in more need of attention, support, and love.

Our sons are just as important as their sisters and it’s about time that notion is exemplified and pushed forth in more of the articles we come across.


This article originally appeared at JThreenme.com, published with permission.

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Nicole Merritt
Nicole Merritt is a mother of three, a freelance writer, co-host of I Am The Worst Parent Ever Podcast and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe; an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole's work has been featured by NBC's TODAY Show, Love What Matters, Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, Elephant Journal, CafeMom, Popsugar, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe.com and as @jthreeNMe on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & Twitter!