As both an educator and a parent, I have learned the importance of creating and cultivating conversations with my kids. Conversation is a teachable moment, a time when my kids share what they are thinking and feeling, a time when my kids are wide open to my guidance. We connect heart-to-heart. Most often these teachable moments begin as we listen to a song, watch a movie, read a book or hear a news story. Usually these conversations occur around the dinner table, on the couch or in the car. No topic is off-limits. We sort through feelings and opinions about everything from racial identity and crushes to homelessness and media messages.
My desire is to be a safe place for my kids to share their hearts. I want to hear about their day at school, their relationships with others and their experiences of this big world. More importantly, I want to process what is happening, good or bad. Siegel and Bryson, authors of The Whole Brain Child (2011), say, “When children learn to pay attention to and share their own stories, they can respond in healthy ways to everything from a scraped elbow to a major loss or trauma. What kids often need, especially when they experience strong emotions, is to have someone help them…make sense of what is going on.”
Anybody who knows me knows that I’m a huge fan of Gilmore Girls. Why? Because it beautifully illustrates inter-generational relationships, reminding us that kids are hungry for genuine connection with caring adults. My #1 job as a caring adult is to be intentional about making time to listen.
