Being a stay-at-home mom is a H-A-R-D job. I know, because I was one for seven years before I headed back to work. (That’s also how I know that being a working mom is H-A-R-D!) I think sometimes what makes it harder is the perception of others that stay-at-home moms don’t really DO much. Just because you’re not earning a monetary wage doesn’t mean you’re not working your butt off. I know this and I’m guessing YOU know this, but for all the people who don’t…one mom, Kristy, took to the Breastfeeding Mama Talk Facebook page to clear things up for ya.
I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing Kristy was the recent recipient of some criticism or unkind comments about what she “does all day.” She says:
What a Stay-at-Home Mom Does All Day
People assume that a stay-at-home mom stays home all day so that should mean the home is never a mess and everything is spic and span and if it’s not then that must mean she did absolutely nothing, sat down eating bon bons all day.
They tend to forget one small tiny detail. There is a human or humans that she is in charge of and responsible for meeting their every need, want, desire, and more. They forget that she:
- does clean only to have the kid projectile vomit all over the floor she just mopped
- finished the dishes from last nights dinner only to have it fill up with breakfast and lunch dishes
- picks up all the toys during their nap time only to have even more toys scattered everywhere when they awake
- didn’t even have time to enjoy a hot meal that day let alone sit down all day eating those magical bon bons people keep referring to
- maybe sat down for longer than fifteen minutes 99% of the time it’s because she has a baby attached to her boob so there is not much else she could or even should be doing in those moments, so why not tune into Netflix during those feeding sessions. Just cause you see she is all caught up on her shows, it doesn’t mean that’s all she did that day, nor does that mean that would have been her first choice for entertainment either.
Maybe she would have preferred to go to the mall or get a pedicure, but she couldn’t because she can’t really leave the house. Either because the partner has their only vehicle at work in “the real world” or it’s just not ideal to go out with baby/babies in tow. That she:
- craves even just five precious minutes to herself where she can get her head on straight but having to fantasize about it instead
- is envious of her partners thirty minute commute to and from work to be alone listening to a great audiobook or something other than, “The wheels on the bus.”
- counts down the minutes until her partner gets home so she could have someone to talk to that doesn’t say “Goo goo ga ga” back.
She wants, no in fact she needs to hear the every detail of your day, no matter how small.
So you think being a stay-at-home mom means she has all the time for the home and not a care in the world? You’re sadly mistaken!
I’m sure many would trade places with their spouse if they could. So the next time you see the house is not so tidy and she only seemed to have the energy to cook a frozen meal that night, just look at the kids and remember she is their whole world, so every part of the house you feel she neglected, went to keeping those tiny humans loved, fed, and happy instead. Give her a kiss and ask what can you do FOR her, even though you’re tired and we’re working all day, she worked too, but she didn’t get three required breaks and that commute to and from work like you do. She worked hard, even if you can’t tell she did. She worked hard just look at the beautiful smiles on your kids. Instead of keeping tabs on what she didn’t get done because 9 times out of ten she has neglected herself most of all. ~Kristy
Can’t Argue With This Stay-At-Home Mom
I can’t argue with Kristy at all—like I said, I’ve been there! But I do want to add, for any critics of stay-at-home moms out there, is this: every minute, every second these women are caring for their children matters. There is love and beauty in the small things, in wiping butts and making peanut butter sandwiches, in cleaning up constant messes, and especially, ESPECIALLY, in the taking time to PLAY with their children. All of it counts towards raising a human being who will grow up to love and serve others just as their mamas are loving and serving them. A mother is teaching her children, by caring for them, duty and sacrifice, two important things that will serve them well as they head out into the world as adults. And working moms do it, too – all mom are on the job 24/7.
As a Christian, I KNOW that motherhood is a gift God has given me to teach me to be more like Christ, who laid down his life for us. And in every effort I make with my children, big or small, seen or unseen, that truth is THERE. No one can change that or take that from me—or you, mama.
I pray you all feel loved and valued for the hard work you do mothering your little ones today!