3. I trust you, but…
I trust my kid, I do. He has made, at age 14, some typical mistakes and he’s totally not perfect, but on the BIG issues, I do trust him. He has proved super responsible with the smartphone I REALLY did not want to give him, and he has accepted our corrections and directions well when he’s faltered or had questions. And I trust him, BUT…just because he’s made good decisions so far doesn’t mean he’s going to make them all the time always. So, my husband and I will continue to bring up hard topics even though we’ve discussed them in the past. And when we do, my teen will often say, “Do you think I’m actually going to {insert bad decision here}?” and I’ll say, “I really don’t, son. I trust you, but I still have to tell you these things because I don’t know what challenges or questions or situations you may face in the FUTURE, and neither do you. I trust you, but I need to keep having these conversations with you so you will have all the tools you need in your arsenal to deal with this if and when it does come up.” I need him to know that I’m more afraid of not doing my duty as a parent than I am of offending him. Shame on me if I’m not willing to risk making my child mad at me.
I know I am barely into parenting a teen, and I probably know nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it 100 percent IS my responsibility to do my best with what I DO know, and saying these three things to him over and over is at least a decent start.
What things do you make it a point to say to your teenager?
