Lysa TerKeurst has decided to end her marriage of 29 years.
The Proverbs 31 Ministries founder took time Saturday to reflect on the past year, which she says “looked very different” than she thought it would.
“It’s been a year of waiting, listening to God, grieving, and taking some time off to process and heal,” the mother of five wrote in an Instagram post on New Year’s Day.
Despite renewing their wedding vows three years ago after a “painful separation,” TerKeurst revealed that her husband Art has continued to be unfaithful.
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“Over the past several years, I have fought really hard to not just save my marriage, but to survive the devastation of what consistent deception of one spouse does to the other,” TerKeurst writes. “It’s brutal and heart crushing to constantly fear the hurtful choices of someone you love. I’ve had to learn the hard way there’s a big difference between mistakes (which we all make) and chosen patterns of behavior that dishonor God and the biblical covenant of marriage.”
TerKeurst goes on to say that she has made the wise and difficult decision to “stop fighting” to save her marriage of 29 years, and instead, “accept reality.”
“While there is clear biblical justification for my decision to end this marriage, I am choosing to hold most of the details private out of respect for our children and grandchildren, and to give space and privacy for my family and me to continue to heal,” she said.
“It’s hard to face a future that looks nothing like what I desperately and constantly prayed it would look like.”
TerKeurst says that while relationship restoration doesn’t always work, “forgiveness always does.”
“I’ve never been more grateful for the healing redemption God has done in my heart through the power of forgiveness,” she says. “Bitterness and resentment could be eating me alive. But, miraculously, that’s not where I’m at. With time, prayer, and lots of counseling, my heart is healing.”
“Sometimes the culmination of all our efforts and the answer to our prayers is that God restores us in relationships. And sometimes He rescues us out of relationships,” she concludes. “I don’t understand why circumstances sometimes go the way my story is now going. But I’m standing firm in my faith and trusting God with every step. My family and I treasure your prayers and your compassion.”
In September, Lysa offered up some ways to respond to someone who is hurting. In an Instagram post, she wrote:
“Almost everyday I talk to people who are hurting for so many different reasons. One of the hardest parts isn’t just the situation at hand but others who do things that unknowingly add to the pain.”
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