Every January presents an opportunity to reset our lives. Many of us do this by attempting and often failing at New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions are promises we make to ourselves that we will either start or stop a behavior. We “give up” carbs, “restrict” calories, “cut back” on spending, “punish” our bodies with sudden starving or extreme exercise. Why do we often fail at these endeavors?
It All Starts With Having the Right Mindset
It all starts with the story we tell ourselves. Are we engaging in these new behaviors because we previously had been “bad?” Or are we adopting these new habits from a place of self-love? What is our internal dialogue?
I used to be filled with self-loathing. Hypercritical of myself, I would beat myself up. My internal dialogue sucked. If I ate too many carbs, I would tell myself that I was a total failure, and the downward spiral would begin. New Year’s resolutions would be quickly abandoned. But as I shifted my internal dialogue to self-love, my success with adopting new habits increased dramatically. I would tell my body, “Thank you for being healthy. For supporting me. I love you and will take care of you.” Exercise and new dietary habits became about loving and supporting my body, not about punishing myself.
I learned that the most radical thing that I could do to jump start my life was to shift the conversation that I was having with myself to one of love, support, gratitude, and service to others. How did I do that?