They are proud of their growth and major improvements as a couple on and off the dance floor, and yet they realize that their “work” is never done. They have signed up for a lifetime commitment of pursuing and practicing the art of loving one another, and one way they do this is by their weekly dance lessons.
3. Myth: Courtship is only for the early years
A third faulty paradigm I see is the notion that courtship and dating are only for the early years. We date, we flirt, we woo, in an effort to court one another. And then we’re all set. We know one another, we’ve tied the knot, and suddenly it’s no longer important to date one another as we did early on.
It’s become so normal for couples to indicate they have grown apart and fallen out of love. Life got busy and suddenly they’re just living with a roommate. It’s understandable how this can easily happen, and yet, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Find ways to court and pursue your partner daily. We all want to feel loved and desired, regardless of what stage we are at in our relationship. Of course, the ways in which we like to be pursued may evolve over the years, which is why it’s all the more important to continue to update your Love Maps.
Take time to remember how your partner likes to feel loved—surprise them with flowers, or bring them coffee in bed in the morning. Take time to experiment and explore new ways you can flirt with them. It’s in these small moments of connection that our relationships flourish.
At 62 and 65, Marcy and Jack are still intentional about planning and having regular date nights together. They’ve established a ritual of carving out sacred time for one another, and dance together on a weekly basis.
They recognize that dancing and date nights aren’t just for the youth—they’re for couples at all stages of their relationship.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how long you’ve been married. It always feels good to have your partner pursue you.
In what ways can you pursue your partner on a daily basis?
In what ways can you choose your partner every morning when you wake up?
In what ways can you date your partner, so that forty years into marriage, you’re still dancing like Marcy and Jack?
This article on the myths about marriage is part four of a four-part series on relationships and dance. Here are parts one, two, and three.
