The singer went on to explain that a lot of the guilt and underlying sadness she felt stemmed from missing out on “special moments” with her baby girl while she battled panic attacks and mental health in general.
“My angel of a daughter deserved better,” she shared. “I couldn’t even get out of bed on Sunday, until finally after hours of feeling the second arrow of hating and pushing away what I was feeling, I surrendered into it.”
The new mom had initially opened up about her postpartum anxiety last summer, not long after giving birth to her daughter.
“I was miserable,” the pop star candidly admitted. “I was having panic attacks. I was you know, trying to get enough milk breastfeeding to make her OK and then trying to entertain 15,000 people and then trying to keep it together as a boss and trying to be a good wife.
“I think these feelings are bigger than just the anxiety of being a new mom,” she continued. “It took a minute to find the right one [therapist], but when I did, it was like the first conversation. It was finally getting the hug that I needed.”
Platten also leaned on her supporting husband, Kevin, who she called a “true blessing”:
“It is a true blessing to have a man that is strong enough to sit there, hold space while I’m going through what I’m going through the waves of my emotions.”
She also says that it was in those moments of surrendering to the deep shame and sadness she’d been feeling that she began to experience healing:
“I let myself feel as sad and ashamed as I needed to. I located the sadness in my body, asked what it needed to hear (“forgive me!”), and I then shifted to my loving higher self who is always there and truly gave myself that forgiveness. It wasn’t all at once, but gradually all of that hurt unwound and I let myself be loved by my husband and reminded that I am of course a good mother! Maybe great! Not perfect, no, but loving and kind and supportive.”
Sometimes the hardest person to find grace for and forgive is ourselves. After finding the self-compassion and courage to do just that, Platten felt free from the bondage that had ravaged her mind and emotions for so long.
“Most of all, Violet feels very loved. I know it,” she added, admitting that this was a vulnerable piece of her life to publicize. “I feel a little vulnerable sharing this, but I think it’s important that I practice what I’m always telling everyone else to do. Be vulnerable! Be real! So if you want – maybe start by sharing something you are going through or feeling with me that has been hard for you lately. We can hold space for each other here.”
