“Unbecoming” — The Anti-New Year’s Resolution that Could Change Your Life in 2019

Like that late wintery evening at the campground, where I unlearned the behavioral responses of fight or flight of the night Chris nearly died camping. We need to unlearn what the world is telling us that will make us happy, better, or true.

Maybe 2019 is a chance to get back to the real you. Maybe this is your chance to untangle your soul from the bullies—the ones who say you need to keep up with the Jones’, look like the chicks from Baywatch, and break the glass ceilings in order to be a better you. My darling, loose the weight if you need to, but don’t do it because of pressure and shame. Turn away from the “self-help” gods we make promises to; look to the Scriptures instead.

There is a better way to be a be a better you. It doesn’t begin with a bunch of worldly, shallow, already set up to be broken self-made promises. The better you is already found in God’s Word but it’s been buried in the lies that hustle-is-better-than-holy life. We don’t need to make become someone else or make resolutions, we need to go back to who we were, to who we are.

It reminds me of my churches recent renovation. It was time to replace the faded pews and worn floors with better flooring and seating. But we had to undo decades of carpet, wood and trim. We had to strip the sanctuary bare, right down to the foundation. My darling, mama. Your soul and New Year is need of the same undoing.

Unbecoming, undoing, unearthing, untangling, unraveling. 2019 is our chance to surrender instead of strive. It’s a chance to undo all the messages of the world in order to bring in the new. Shut down the resolutions and turn to the one thing that will change your soul in the New Year.

In case you aren’t sure how, here are three tips to help you uncover the real you—the best you in the New Year.

Three Ways to Undo the Old & Bring in the New This Year

1. Break up with Busy

The world values busy. In our American culture, moms aren’t valued or desired unless they are busy and productive. Your to do list becomes the thing that is stressing you out, wearing you thin, and distracting you from what your soul really needs. The busier you get, the more cluttered is your schedule and soul. And the less time you have to actually pee when you need to. Soon you’ll find yourself exhausted, sick, and burned out.  Your soul doesn’t need accolades of an overcrowded to do list. It needs down time and lots of it. Remember busy is a choice. Stress is a choice. Down time is also a choice. Choose wisely. Create space in 2019 to allow room for solitude and growth. Redo your daily routine to be fully present in every moment and establish a regular practice of rest. If need be, buy that fancy pants planner you’ve had your eye on and re-organize your schedule and your family’s schedule.

2. Unlearn the Hustle

My darling mama, you don’t need to Hustle to be someone. You matter simply as you are. You don’t need to prove it by throwing big birthday parties for your four-year-old. You don’t need to find that next project. You don’t need to break the glass ceiling either. Hustling is another word for busy, for striving, for cluttering your soul with all the things that take you away from the real YOU. There’s a difference between hustle and holy hustle.  Your biggest effort, ambition, focus, drive and direction is meeting with your God each and everyday. Unlearn the world’s definition of success and re-define it in your relationship with God and how he sees you. Success is God’s department, faith is yours.

3. Undo the False You

You are not the number on the scale. You are not the value of how clean your house is. You are not your paycheck. You are not your resolutions. You are not the number of degrees or lack of on your office wall. My darling mama, you are who God says you are. The best practice to undo the layers and messages of this world is meditating on God’s world daily. Carve out time to practice this. Doctors and scientists have proved prayer and meditation promote healing and impact the brain. Find an App or daily devotion or women’s group. Do what you can to dig in!

Heather Riggleman
Heather Riggleman
Heather Riggleman calls Nebraska home (Hey, it’s not for everyone). She roams small towns looking for stories and coffee with her husband and three kids. She writes to bring the perspective of bold truths and raw faith into universal concepts women face from marriage, career, mental health, depression, faith, relationships, to celebration and heartache. Heather is a former national award-winning journalist and the author of Mama Needs a Time Out and Let’s Talk About Prayer. Her work has been featured on Proverbs 31 Ministries, MOPS, Today's Christian Woman and Focus On the Family. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram Instagram, or at heatherriggleman.com.

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