‘Somewhere Along the Way, the Village Got Lost’ — Why Moms Are Desperate for Connection & Drowning in Isolation

connection

Our society is desperate for connection.

We’re living in the most connected time in history. We have phones in our pockets and access to the internet on our wrists.

And yet, I would argue we’re living in the most disconnected generation of all time.

Sure, we can connect with someone halfway across the world without leaving our living room. But in the process, we’ve neglected the relationships in our own homes and the communities in our own backyards.

We’ve grown used to this superficial culture we’ve created where everything is fine and light conversations are preferred.

Then we seek out support and community from strangers on the internet, and thank God for them, but we never confide in the people right here.

Somewhere along the way, the village got lost.

Instead of linking arms with the women around us and sharing the load of this life, we compete, keep up appearances and hide any weakness at any and all cost.

We’re the most disconnected generation, living in the middle of the most connected time in human history.

connection

And there’s all this talk about tribes and villages, and yet, we have the same nice conversations with the women at work and the moms at the park and families at church.

Then we unload the truth on our couple of trusted friends and join online mom groups searching for more people like us.

We’re desperate for connection, but we turn it down left and right.

We give the right answer instead of the real truth.

We hide how we really feel because we aren’t sure if they’ll agree.

We don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or come on too strong or admit that we’re really struggling with all this.

The thing is, she is too. And so the cycle continues.

I think, if we really got honest with the women around us, if we risked our pride for the connection we so desperately crave, we’d find a lot of “me too”.

I think we might be shocked how many other women are drowning in anxiety and depression. How many of them struggled just to make it to the park today.

I think we might be surprised how many women are struggling to find the balance between being a mom, and being the woman they once were. Or how many of them are grappling with how much harder this gig is than they ever imagined.

I think we might not realize how many marriages aren’t so Instagram perfect. Or how the couple we see smiling on their way in to church just tabled a massive argument in the car, only to pick it up again as soon as service is over.

If we want community, we have to get real.

Otherwise, all we’re building is more spaces where we can’t bring our true selves. Where the support we need is masked by the facade we have to uphold.

And, if you ask me, we already have enough of those.


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Kendra Barnes
Kendra is the co-founder of Daylight to Dark, a lifestyle blog. She is a fun-loving wife and momma to a spirited blue-eyed girl and a particularly jolly baby boy. She's an expert at holding down the fort, abandoning her coffee, and making circles wider, not smaller, so more women feel included and encouraged. You can follow Daylight to Dark on Facebook and Instagram.