Parents, we have to talk with our kids about Biblical sexuality, and here’s why.
If we don’t, someone else will. And it’s not like it was when we were kids when the internet didn’t exist.
Why We Need to Talk with our Kids about Biblical Sexuality:
Do I really need to answer that question? Just off the top of my head, I’d respond —
- Anyone can give the nuts and bolts of how our bodies work, but with the overwhelming sexual temptation and pornography and sexual addiction running rampant, kids need to have a safe space to learn and talk about their questions with someone who cares for them.
- There is a positive correlation between an open dialogue between parents and kids about sex and sexual abstinence. Feeling safe to talk with you also helps protect kids from sexual abuse.
- If you don’t talk with your kids about sex, someone else will — and the information most likely will be distorted, wrong, too graphic, addictive, or used to lure, shame, or trap our kids. Kids hear more from their friends and through social media than we realize — even at 6 years old.
- Nearly 60% of 16-18 year old have sexual intercourse
- Nearly one-third of 13-15-year-olds have sexual intercourse
67% of teens who have had intercourse wish they had waited.
There are far more reasons than I’ve included in this list. The bottom line is, as Anne Marie Miller frankly writes in her book, 5 Things Every Parent Needs to Know about their Kids & Sex (which I highly recommend):
Your child is not the exception.
The reality is that you cannot shelter your child from the world. Someone is going to define what “sexy” is. Your child will hear words you don’t want them to hear and potentially see things you don’t want them to see. And the hard truth is that you have little control over this.
What you can control is the conversation, as well as from whom your child first learns about sex.
How do you want your child to learn about sex? from a peer? The media? A photo of a scantily dressed model hanging in the window of a lingerie store at the mall? If you want them to learn the values you have established in your home, you need to have this conversation. Don’t be afraid that it will spark unnecessary curiosity. It might, but because you are being proactive, you can help guide what happens next. (Anne Marie Miller)
Reasons Parents Don’t Talk About Sex With Their Kids:
- they’re embarrassed or feel awkward
- the kids are disgusted or aloof
- they don’t know when or how to talk about it
- they think their kids are too young or don’t need to worry about that yet
In fact, 64 percent of all parents in one survey said their own moms and dads didn’t do a very good job talking to them about sex. No wonder we feel inadequate! But inadequate or not, we need to open up the conversation and keep it going.
Talking with our kids about their bodies, healthy sexuality, pornography, sexual abuse, and more is not a one and done talk. This is an ongoing conversation had within the context of a loving, trusting relationship — between you and your child.
Teach our kids about healthy, Biblical Sexuality
Wherever you find yourself on the list of reasons why parents don’t talk with their kids about their bodies or sex, one of these resources will help.
—> The first few series give you age-appropriate books to read with your kids. Grab the parent guide, too, as it will help you prepare for questions or conversations that might come up with your kids.
—> The single resources are for parents and will give you a wealth of information you probably don’t know (but think you do). Grab one of the resources below and read it.
