What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
I have a joke about drilling holes in the ground, but it’s boring.
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A king fish.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
Dad Jokes for Every Day of the Week
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
I told my computer I needed a break, and it went to sleep.
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
