82 Dad Jokes to Keep the Laughter Rolling

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.

Dad jokes remind us not to take life too seriously and that sometimes, a simple pun is all it takes to bring a smile to someone’s face. Whether you’re a dad looking to expand your comedic repertoire or just someone who appreciates a good-natured groaner, this list offers a little something for everyone. So next time you’re gathered with friends or family, try dropping a few of these jokes into the conversation and watch the room light up with laughter (and maybe a few eye rolls).

Staff Writer
Staff Writer
ForEveryMom staff contributed to this article.

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