The Best Dad Jokes the Internet Has to Offer
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
I’ve got a great joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
I would tell you a joke about an elevator but it’s an uplifting experience.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
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Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
I’m no cheetah, you’re lion!
