I couldn’t get her to stop crying.
She was overtired.
She was restless.
She was completely inconsolable.
I tried to let her cry it out after feeding her.
I changed her, covered her and offered her a pacifier.
I walked away for a short while.
But, there came a point I just couldn’t bear it any longer.
And so, I picked her up.
I sang sweet lullabies.
We visited our images in the mirror.
And then I laid her across my chest.
Twirling her hair and kissing her forehead.
Simply holding her securely.
Until she finally fell back asleep.
And as I sat there, stress level rising, and then falling back again, trying to swoon an exhausted little baby back to sleep, I couldn’t help but imagine our Father Above. As I prayed over her. For comfort. For peace. For rest.
I couldn’t help but think how many times God simply has to hold us.
But, nothing short of a journey full of one-of-a-kind plans and lessons to be learned. Full of mountaintop-highs. Surrounding trenches that leave us drowning in flood waters.
Sometimes life feels like life has simply left us shattered, into millions of pieces on the ground below, completely desolate and heartbroken. Fully encompassed in our human experiences.
Buckling at the knees.
Cheeks tear-stained and raw.
Eyes swollen shut.
Heart splintered into a million pieces.
Thinking it could never possibly feel whole again.
And, many times, the only thing God can do in those moments?
Is to simply let us work through it.
Letting us cry it out; into His outstretched, unconditional embrace.
Holding our hands through the heart break.
Lifting us when our legs can no longer hold us firm.
Wiping our tears away and gently kissing our foreheads.
Carrying us through the storms and valleys.
Singing sweet truths into our ears.
As He carries us back to the mountaintops.
All while we so desperately cling to one of His greatest promises of all: He will never, ever leave us. And, He will never, ever forsake us.
One day, I imagine.
I imagine meeting our Magnificent Father at Heaven’s glorious gates. And I imagine Him scrolling back through our time on Earth with each of us. Opening our eyes to His full and beautiful plans, which we are not yet privy to see.
Embracing us as we watch those times when our footprints disappeared, and His took over.
As we inhale the unconditional truth of those inconsolable life moments. The ones we feared He abandoned us completely. But, instead, the ones He simply held us through. Because that was the only thing He could truly do. Let us live through our fears, uncertainties, broken hearts and storms; fully anchoring in Him.
Singing to us.
Until we rested safely in His peaceful arms, once again. Until He carefully set us back down underneath His sheltering wings. Ready to protect us, for an eternity to come.
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)