We must create a culture in our homes, churches, and communities where younger generations feel safe to openly talk and ask questions about sex.
Otherwise, some of our brothers and sisters in Christ who intend to wait for sex until marriage find themselves Googling answers or asking their doctors for advice during their engagement season.
Victims of sexual abuse feel alone.
Those who struggle with pornography or sexual activity outside of marriage carry that weight by themselves.
Men and women wrestling with questions about sexuality won’t voice those questions aloud for fear of judgment.
Sex must be up for discussion in order to love and serve one another well.
6. Sex is not “dirty.”
When sex is conveyed as “too holy” for discussion, it also communicates (intentionally or unintentionally) that sex is also dirty. Again, sex is God’s good gift. For the most part, Song of Solomon is NOT a metaphor for Christ and the Church.
Let’s talk about it as such.
7. There is no rulebook for physical intimacy.
The question repeatedly asked last week was, “Where is the line when dating?” We want black-and-white boundaries on physical intimacy before marriage so that we do not venture beyond them.
It is my conviction that this “line” is different for everyone, because the Spirit of God in us unsettles us before we cross over our line where affection becomes lust.
Ezekiel 36:26-27 says, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you… And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.”
The best thing we can do for younger generations is not to hand them a rulebook of do’s and don’ts. This is not the gospel. The best thing we can do is to teach them how to read and study God’s Word and listen to his Spirit.
8. Sex is a two-way street.
The burden of setting physical boundaries often falls on only the man or woman in a relationship. However, men and women – both in dating and marriage – must set boundaries together. No one should ever feel forced to do something with which he or she isn’t comfortable.
9. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer.
Temptation is strong, but prayer is stronger.
10. True love… loves.
One of my two friends shared this last week at the end of our talk.
True love does not always wait. But true love always, ALWAYS loves.
*Statistics are from The National Center for Victims of Crime and Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.
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This article originally appeared at LanieAnderson.com.
