I’m in a fog. A deep thick, can’t see through it – no amount of fog lights can fix it, haze. Every morning I wake up more tired than the day before. I’ve tried meditation. Water. Getting outside more. Coffee. Walking. Retail therapy. You name it, still there.
And when I text my friends, they say the same thing – tired.
Maybe it’s because we’re going on seven months of whatever this year is.
Maybe it’s the chaos of e-learning while juggling work.
Or the lack of any sense of the word routine or normalcy.
Maybe it’s too much social media and news.
And missing friends and family.
Maybe it’s cancelled plans and drive by birthday parties.
Maybe it’s grocery shopping at three stores because Chef Boyardee is apparently a hot commodity.
But whatever it is, I’m over it. I’ve been treading water for months now trying to be and do everything while sucking at all of it. And, I don’t have an answer. I wish I did. I wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me when this will all be over. When my kids will be in school and I’ll be able to try on clothes at Target, but I don’t.
Most days my mind feels like a series of squiggly lines on paper. I can’t tell you if I’m coming or going. I walk upstairs only to forget why I even went up there in the first place. I live in yoga pants and sweatshirts and only “get ready” on days I have a Zoom call. My life is anything but perfect right now.
But, I do know this. I’m stronger for it. A little crazier – sure. Emotional? Absolutely. But I’m handling it and you are too. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t need to be perfect. I never did. It’s about showing up. Through all of it. The frustration. The tired. The uncertainty and worry. One foot in front of the other.
It’s not easy. It’s messy. I fumble and make mistakes more often than I care to admit. And I’m quite confident I’ll forever be a work in progress, but I’m growing and you are too. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes we wonder if we’ll be able to push through, but we will.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about doing your best. Whatever that looks like today,
cut yourself some slack and give yourself a little extra dose of grace.
We’re all a little tired and that’s OK.