It started with a headache. A headache that lasted 4 days. I was unknowingly on the brink of making a list—what almost dying taught me about living.
A headache that no medication, coffee, hot shower, cold shower, nor amount of sleep could subdue. I called my doctor, I’ve had headaches before and this was no cause for concern, he said. And then, in the middle of the night… it popped.
As sudden as the headache had come it was gone, and I felt or heard, a “pop” in my head that woke me from my sleep, followed by a warm sensation rushing through my brain. A friend had recently lost her mother to a brain aneurysm and I thought “This is it,” as I shook my husband awake and frantically called 911.
I sat on the carpet in our hallway, rocking back and forth while clutching my knees as I waited for the ambulance, and distantly heard the dispatcher’s voice in my ear, as I asked my husband to turn on his video camera.
I heard my daughter crying in her crib as I repeated over and over “She will never remember me,” and began a dialogue into my husband’s phone that I prayed she would never have to hear.
“Hi baby, I’m your mama. And I love you so very very much.”