The Starbucks was buzzing, which was to be expected considering it was just after 8:30 a.m. Still, the line moved swiftly, and within moments, the only customers ahead of me were a woman and her preschool-aged son. She ordered first.
“Triple Grande skinny Caramel Macchiato, low foam.”
I silently vowed this would be the day I emailed Starbucks with my long-simmering suggestion to create a separate line for anybody whose drink order contained more than 10 syllables. It would please millions of customers like me who frequent the chain in search of a “tall black coffee.”
Greg SchwemA former newspaper and television reporter in West Palm Beach, Florida, Greg Schwem made the leap to full time stand-up comedian in 1989, causing his former employers to scratch their heads in bewilderment and his parents to weep uncontrollably. Traveling the country in a shiny red Nissan Sentra, Greg played comedy clubs everywhere from Hermosa Beach, California to Destin, Florida. His nightclub material about business and technology caught the eye of corporate event producers, who soon hired Greg to entertain the likes of Microsoft, Cisco Systems, Hewlett-Packard, McDonald’s and Verizon Wireless. Along the way he has appeared on Comedy Central, VH-1, the Arts & Entertainment Network and FOX News. In 2013 the Chicago Tribune hired Greg as a weekly humor columnist, syndicating his column everywhere from New Delhi India to Naples, Florida. In 2014 the National Society of Newspaper Columnists recognized Greg for outstanding humor writing. FunnyDadInc is the culmination of years spent trying to figure out his two teen daughters. Greg lives in suburban Chicago with his wife and high school-aged daughter. His other daughter claims she is studying hard at college. You can catch him at his websites,
FunnyDadInc.com and
gregschwem.com.