For many, it sounds like a dream. Getting to stay at home all day with the babies that you love. Having all the time in the world to cook and clean and keep the house in order. Getting to sit around while kids take naps, and always having designated alone time.
That’s what many people think when they think of stay-at-home moms. But one Minnesota mother is serving up a healthy dose of truth after sharing an honest post captured in a moment of overwhelm.
Bridgette Armstrong has been a stay-at-home mom to her 18-month-old daughter, Riley, for over a year now.
Recently, after a long day of feeling overwhelmed and lonely, Bridget took to Facebook “at her wits end” to shine a light on the stigma that surrounds being a stay-at-home mom.
☝️ everyone thinks being a stay at home mom full time is easy.
— that we are lucky to be able to not have to work.
“Everyone thinks being a stay-at-home mom full time is easy,” Armstrong wrote. “That we are lucky to be able to not have to work. That we are lazy. That it’s not ‘real’ work, so we have nothing to complain about. But the truth is, it’s f—— lonely and overwhelming.”
She goes on to explain that it’s rare for her to get any alone time—even as much as a moment to herself to scrub a little one’s soiled pants for the third time in a day. There’s always “someone crying or screaming at your leg.”
“You don’t get breaks unless they are sleeping; which even then you use that time to clean up.
You struggle to come up with ways to entertain someone for literally 12 hours a day every day.
You wear the same clothes that smell like sweat and tears for days at a time because it’s already stained and no use in ruining more clothes.
You forget what it means or feels like to be an individual; because your entire existence now revolves around that child.
You look at working moms and get jealous because you wish you could have an excuse to have an adult conversation without being interrupted.
You lock yourself in the bathroom and scream into a towel while crying because you need a second to breathe; all while a child is banging on the door to get in.”
Armstrong says that the stigma is the hardest part of it all. Not only do most stay-at-home moms not have the luxury of letting out their frustration in peace, but when they do break down, people question it.
“Like what do you have to cry about? You get to sit home all day.”
The 25-year-old admits that she used to think the same thing about stay-at-home moms. But now, she gets it.
“The people who said they’d be there to help have all but disappeared, and you’re left with this overwhelming sense of failure.”
“My house isn’t clean, I’m not clean, the dishes aren’t done, I have screamed already today, I have cried, and I have felt so [sic] guilty that my child was here to witness it,” she wrote.
Armstrong closed her post by saying that she’s alone, and she’s lonely. Then she encouraged others to check on their SAHM friends.
“We are NOT okay.”