Dear Teen Girl, Please Read My Story Before You Send Those Nudes…

Dear Girl, First, I need to share my story with you because we have a lot in common. I never sent nude pics when I was your age because well, technology wasn’t there yet.

The question is, if I had been given the opportunity would I have sent them? Unfortunately, I can’t say I wouldn’t have. Because the reality is we women have the same longings:

To be seen, told we’re beautiful, and to feel loved.

When I was younger I had a pretty cute figure and I realized around the age of twelve or thirteen that guys were beginning to notice me. What a thrill after all the gawky years of feeling hidden and unseen.

Boys were finally giving me attention.

The more I felt seen, the more powerful I felt, it was like a high. So, of course as I grew up, my identity was wrapped up in my looks and finding ways to be prettier.

I was constantly on a quest for better makeup, cuter clothes, (the more they revealed my figure the better) and chasing after the next compliment.

So, I get you.

I get that you want to feel special and told you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. God put those desires inside each of us women and they are all natural human desires.

You may be asking, “So what’s the problem then with sending pictures and wanting to hear those things?”

First off, sending nude pics and sexting is a criminal offense and you and the recipient of your pictures can get charges pressed against you both. (this is happening every day all over the world so don’t think it won’t happen to you).

Secondly, we have seen and heard about the devastating effects of how one picture can ruin not only your reputation, but follow you for the rest of your life.

Thirdly, ask yourself this: Do you really want a relationship with a guy who asks you for nude pics? (and btw research proves when you send those photos he shares them with his friends, no matter if he says he doesn’t.)

After talking with many teen girls and reading research, the reality is many teen boys are asking for nude pics right away when they start talking to a girl.

And what breaks my heart is there is a high percentage of you sending them because you are fearful of rejection.

I want you to really think about this: If a guy doesn’t like you because you won’t send nude pics of yourself then what kind of guy are you trying to attract?

A guy of character and integrity? Or a guy with no care whatsoever about your value and worth?

Let’s say you decide to go ahead and keep sending nudes regardless of the consequences, or you haven’t sent them, but you’ve been thinking about it.

I want to leave you with a couple of things to think about:

No matter how many times you send pictures or hear how beautiful, sexy, and amazing you are, it will never be enough.

You will never get to a point where you say, “Ok, I’m done now, I’m satisfied.”

Holly Haynes
Holly Haynes
Holly is a self-proclaimed mess and says she is one of Jesus' ongoing patients. She also has two obsessions: A good book and sparkly, dangly earrings. She is a wife of eighteen years and a proud mom to two teenage sons. She has weekly bible studies and teaches teens, women, and couples. You can find her most days blogging in her notorious pink robe at on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.

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