I get it, I do. This stuff is HARD. I have stood before God and PLEAD with Him to let certain “cups pass from me” when it come to mothering. I’ve dealt with hard things with my kids, and as my oldest is only 13, I know there are many more hard things ahead. Motherhood is HARD.
But what I’ve come to realize is, motherhood isn’t ABOUT ME. And it’s not ABOUT YOU. It’s about what we Christians call “dying to self” and putting someone else first every day. It’s about selflessness and service, not “I want,” “I miss,” or “If only.”
To stop hating motherhood, you’re going to have to start acting. You may have to fake it at first, but the amazing thing is, when you give to your children sacrificially, when you treat it as if it is a joy and a privilege, it BECOMES a joy and a privilege! And it changes your heart.
There will still be moments when you hide in the bathroom with a Hershey bar, but there will be FAR fewer moments when you look at the best thing you EVER did and wished him or her away.
Your life is about so much more than the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. If you don’t feel like it has purpose now, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say it’s because you have never been told how much MOTHERING MATTERS. You don’t have to embrace my faith in Christ to believe and see that changing diapers, wiping butts and noses and making peanut butter sandwiches is HOLY WORK. Caring for little lives, LOVING THEM, instilling them with love and kindness and raising them to be world-changers? Makes YOU a world-changer. YOU matter. Parenting MATTERS. Breaking up sibling fights and telling them it’s no big deal when they pee all over your sheets MATTERS.
Society WILL NOT TELL YOU THIS. And sad to say, the article you are featured in with the New York Post only enforces the message that motherhood is a waste of time.
You say you wish your children had never been born, but I say I wish YOU could die. Die to your OLD self. Do that my darlings, and you will really start loving.
You can DO this. You can LOVE motherhood and you can ROCK motherhood.
It’s not ABOUT you, but YOU have to take the first step. And I’ll be right behind you, holding you up when you start to fall back, I promise. You can find my email in my bio below if you need encouragement. You can do it. START TODAY.
Much love,
Jenny
P.S. And mama? If you are truly depressed and cannot care for your kids, please see a doctor. Postpartum depression can last far past the infant stage, and it just might be that selfishness and narcissism isn’t your problem—depression is. If there is a serious medical condition standing between you and your beautiful kids, it doesn’t have to be that way. Please, please, please see your doctor.
