What Moms Need to Tell Middle School Girls About Friendship

6. Remember that everyone is learning and gradually maturing. Just because you don’t click with someone now doesn’t mean you won’t click later. My husband and I met when we were 18. One night at a party, we talked outside for hours. While I liked our conversation, I kept waiting for it to go deeper. It never did, so the story ended there.

Five years later when we started dating, I teased him and told him that I assumed he was shallow that night because all he talked about was his fraternity brothers, going out, and having fun. He laughed and replied, “Kari, I was an 18-year-old boy…I probably was shallow!” At age 18 we weren’t ready for each other, but five years later we were. He had grown up, and so had I. The same thing can happen with friendships, so keep a good rapport with everyone, even if you think you have nothing in common.

7. The biggest friendship killers are jealousy, comparison, insecurity, and fear — fear of rejection, fear of being left out, and fear of being alone. Acting on these emotions can turn you into someone you’re not.

By being aware of your negative emotions (I’m jealous that my friend is so pretty….I’m freaking out that I wasn’t invited to that party) yet learning the self-control to not act on them (I’ll ask God to help me overcome my jealousy…It’s okay that I wasn’t included because I can make other plans) you’ll join the rare breed of girls who are confident enough in themselves to not make friendship too hard or dramatic.

8. Form your own opinions about people, and don’t believe everything you hear. Just because your friend dislikes someone doesn’t mean you should too. Just because a rumor is flying around doesn’t mean it’s true. Treat everyone like a friend until they give you a good reason not to, and when possible, give people the benefit of the doubt.

Kari Kampakis
Kari Kampakis
Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a mom of four girls, as well as an author, speaker, and blogger from Birmingham, Alabama. Her new book for moms, LOVE HER WELL: 10 WAYS TO FIND JOY AND CONNECTION WITH YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER, launches August 18 and can be pre-ordered through online retailers. Her two books for teen and tween girls, Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For? and 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, have used widely across the country for youth group studies. Join Kari on FacebookTwitter, and The Girl Mom Podcast, or by visiting www.karikampakis.com.

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