Also, if your image of a dealer is a greasy-haired low-life, think again. Think PEERS. Clean cut teenagers. People who go to your church with their families. People who pose for family pictures on Christmas in their matching sweaters.
We felt guilt, constantly questioning every word that came out of his mouth. Was he really going to run with a friend? Or were they going to their other friend’s home to smoke? (And YES, it’s happening in the homes of their peers. Some parents know and look the other way, pretending it’s out of sight, out of mind.) No one wants to question every word uttered by their child. There should be some level of trust in a family, right? Yes, there should. But when that trust is broken repeatedly, BELIEVE YOUR GUT. Stop covering for your kids. Stop acting like it’s all fine in your house when it’s maybe not.
I was incredibly fortunate to have met two women who are brave enough to share their families’ stories of battling addiction in the past so that when this happened, I had people to turn to to ask for guidance.
Our family has a long road ahead of us. His sisters were devastated by this and are still processing it all. But none of us are interested in your sympathy, no matter how well-meaning. We are looking for ACTION. Check on your kids when they say they are going somewhere. Talk to the parents. Confirm confirm confirm. Trust, but confirm.
My son is a good, kind, smart young man with an incredibly promising future. He gives a great hug. He loves animals and babies and they love him. He’s a heck of a soccer player and he’s darn funny. This will not define his life. We will support him every step of the way in his recovery. But he has to do the work. And we hope that all of you who know and love our family, will pray for us daily. I can tell you with great confidence that our support system has shown how powerful they are in the last 10 days.
These kids NEED the adults in their life to hold them accountable. Coaches, teachers, pastors, friends’ parents. Every single adult they come in contact with should be aware that your behavior is noticed. If you’re constantly sipping wine, drunk every weekend, oblivious to what your kids are doing on a Saturday night, you are part of the problem. Sober up. Get involved. Set an example your whole family can be proud of. Your child’s life may depend on it.
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A version of this post originally appeared on Facebook, published with permission.
