The Case For Putting My Husband Before My Kids

Marriage does not demand perfection, but it must be given priority. H. Norman

“He is such a slob.”

“Why can’t he think of me for once?”

“If he changes the channel one more time I’m going to scream!”

If you’ve been married for more than a day and a half you’ve probably had some annoying thoughts bounce around your head. It’s common. But, is thinking negatively where your mind camps? Is this the warm dwelling place you’ve invited negativity to hang out every day?

When we allow our mind to replay hurts and every tiny indiscretion, we create a dwelling place of discouragement for our hearts to live in. Being married isn’t easy. I don’t care who you are. Here’s a tip: if you ever meet someone who tells you, “Our marriage is perfect.” Run. They’re lying.

No one leaves the altar for their honeymoon thinking, Yeah, I’ve got this. And if they do, they’re quickly schooled that they don’t. Take it from someone who has been divorced. I know just how fast those little irritations magically become divorce papers. But, here’s some good news I’d like to share with you. I didn’t understand it years ago and it begins with a question: What are you dwelling on?

When you think about your husband, what are the first thoughts that come to mind? Close your eyes and take a moment. I’ll wait….

What is your mind’s dwelling place? Where are your thoughts most comfortable camping out? Have you decorated your head with discouragement and wrong thinking about your husband?

God’s word reminds me how I should be thinking about Paul.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8-9 NIV

The Greek word for think about such things is logizomai. It’s a verb that means to reckon, purpose, to account, to weigh, to practice, and my favorite to dwell.

Tell me. What thoughts are rattling around in that pretty little head of yours? If they’re less than encouraging—be intentional. Each thought about your husband is a seed you plant for future harvest.

Joanne Kraft
Joanne Kraft
Joanne Kraft is a mom of four and the author of The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids and Just Too Busy—Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical. She’s been a guest on Focus on the Family, Family Life Today and CBN. Joanne and her husband, Paul, recently moved their family from California to Tennessee and happily traded soy milk and arugula for sweet tea and biscuits. Joanne joins her mom-friends over coffee every Saturday morning, sign up and grab your favorite cup—she’d love to have you!

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