When we place a label on our spouse we confine them to a box. We make the assumption that we know all there is to know about our spouse. (You know what they say about assumptions.)
Notice the difference:
My spouse is an angry person. My spouse has anger issues.
The first is defining and labeling your spouse. The second is acknowledging an aspect of your spouse. They are more than just their anger.
Person – has feelings VS Thing – has no feelings
As stated above. Each one of us was created uniquely. Based upon our temperament and life experiences, our thoughts lead to feelings. While we as told not to always trust our feelings, they are real.
Feelings are one of the things that separates us from things. When our spouse’s feelings are not validated, we are stating they are less than. To validate is to demonstrate or support the truth or value of.
Here’s the thing. You don’t even have to agree with the emotion. Just acknowledge that your spouse is experiencing it.
You can say something along the lines of, “I can see you are…” That one statement shows you are recognizing and validating the feelings they are having.
Don’t Treat Your Spouse Like A Thing
I pray that this post gives you pause to evaluate your thoughts and behaviors towards your spouse.
Which one of these areas is the hardest for you? Let me know in the comments below.
God bless!
Melissa
***
This article originally appeared at HumbleFaithFamilyWellness.com.
