But I can’t.
About a month later, I was sitting at a friends’ house with a bunch of moms and little ones. And someone started talking about the worst gift their husband had ever gotten them.
Soon enough, everyone was chiming in with their stories. (And I realized, Hey! I’m not crazy!) Their stories were much more light-hearted than mine, but a common thread remained.
They all felt misunderstood.
“Platform heels,” one of my friends said. She’d told her husband she wanted to feel more sexy, and he ended up buying the most obnoxious, clear plastic stripper heels you can imagine. She was not impressed.
“That wasn’t what I meant,” she chuckled as she recalled the gift.
We all laughed.
Another wife said her husband always buys her big electronics.
“Something about being able to buy me a nice new computer or camera makes him feel good, and like he’s buying me something big and shiny. But it’s not personal. And, to be honest, I could have picked that out myself.”
A third friend chimed in to say her husband had bought her a cheap watch one year. He’d built up the gift, as if it was going to change her life. And it turned out to be an off-brand watch that she didn’t even like.
“I’m not a snob, but if you’re building it up that much, at least make it a name brand,” she said. “It was tacky, and I just wanted to return it and use the money to save up for something I really wanted.”
The point is, we’ve all felt misunderstood at times.
In fact, I’ll bet you have your own bad gift story floating around in your head right now.
But don’t be like me.
Don’t let your husband’s generosity fall onto a negative heart and a wife who sulks like a martyr for the rest of the day.
I can’t tell you how much I regret last Christmas. (In fact, I’ve told my husband I don’t deserve any gifts this year LOL.)
But, I learned.
I learned that the next time I’m in that negative moment, whether it’s about a gift or otherwise, I’m going to choose to think about his intentions, and go from there.
Did he feel so excited and proud of the gift he’d chosen? YES.
Was he trying to express that he cares about me more than anything? YES.
Does he love me and want me to feel special? YES.
The gift is just a detail.
What really matters is his heart.
And so, the next time my husband gives me an impersonal gift, or lingerie, or an off-brand, I’m going to smile and give him a big kiss.
Because he loves me and wants to please me.
And if you ask me, that’s anything but tacky. And something I’ll never, ever, want to return.
(By the way, this is the dress he got me. I ended up loving it, and we planned a special, fancy date night, just so I’d have a place to wear it!)
This article originally appeared at She Just Glows.
