When you tell me how you fought the “system” to get your child included with extra supports into mainstream school, you ask if I’m sure my son is in the right school. I want to tell you Ethan has changed school three times due to his decline, but I don’t.
I just nod and smile. I’m really not trying to be rude.
The truth is, I’m an outsider to your children’s needs and your struggles. Yes, I’m a parent of two children with special needs, but I don’t “fit.” I don’t know what the “right” thing is to say. If I tell you about my son, I’m afraid I will sound like “that” mommy. You know, “that” mommy who always has to have it worse… the one who can trump any experience you may have had by 100 times? Yeah, her. I’m afraid that’s exactly who I’ll sound like if I open my mouth.
If I talk about my middle son and his struggles, I feel like a fraud because having Ethan diagnosed first gave me insight and perspective. ADHD, I can handle. I’m afraid you’ll think I have no insight into your struggles.
I just nod and smile. I’m really not trying to be rude.
I can’t fight the fights you do. I simply have to choose which ones are vital and which don’t really matter as time goes on. Ethan has a progressive syndrome. As he ages, his needs grow, and he needs change. Supports that were vital a year ago may very well be pointless in the here and now.
How do I speak to you without sounding like “that” mommy?
Because I need to speak with you. We have so much in common… yet we don’t.
Follow this journey on It’s Me & Ethan!
