Fighting Fair: 6 Things I’ve Learned About Dealing With Conflict

If your character and reputation don’t have the best things to say about you, well, this can be an invaluable opportunity to change that. Failure is always an open door to growth and maturity. Go to the Father and listen to His voice of affirmation and correction. Proverbs 12:1 says, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but one who hates correction is stupid.” Even when facing correction, remind yourself of your right standing with God. You are chosen, holy, and dearly loved by Him!

4. Never talk out of both sides of your mouth. 

There may be times when you find yourself stuck in the middle. Be so careful not to tell both sides of a disagreement what they want to hear to make things easier on yourself. While some do this as an intentional form of manipulation, some tend to do this without realizing it in the name of peacemaking or smoothing things over. If you find yourself being pulled between two points of view, you should probably remove yourself or get everyone involved in one conversation to avoid this tricky mishap.

5. Don’t bite back or you will be devoured. 

Galatians 5:15 says, “But if you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another.” Attitudes of dissension and disunity are highly contagious. Protect yourself against this kind of behavior and refuse to cooperate with the enemy’s schemes to bring division among Believers. You do not have to show up to every fight you’re invited to. That’s right. Some conflict is not productive, necessary, or healthy. The Lord is always for reconciliation, but sometimes that doesn’t involve you hashing it out with another person. There are times when the best thing for the offended party is for you to humbly own and repent of any part you played and then refuse to engage.

That being said, remember that we are all ministers of reconciliation. Whenever possible, and it’s almost always possible, do what it takes to make things right. Extend Grace. Withhold judgment. We all fall short sometimes, but that is not who we are at the core. Let us all be reminded and remind one another of our freedom from sin and the ways of Heaven that Holy Spirit releases through us here on Earth. We are all conduit for Christ’s redemptive Power. Let it flow freely.

6. If you find yourself offended, give honor before bringing strife. 

An offense can often be dissolved by looking for the good in the one who has offended you. Sometimes people’s best qualities express themselves as negative behavior. A friend who is indecisive is also very flexible. A sister who is single-minded is often very purposeful. That co-worker who comes across as brash is usually quite courageous and a willing risk-taker.

None of us puts our best self forward 100% of the time. Cut people some slack and ask God to reveal their best qualities to you. Take it a step further and call out that good quality when you see it expressed and watch honor do its thing. I’ve heard honor described as seeing people for who they are without getting tripped up over who they are not. Try it. It works.

Tia McNelly
Tia McNelly
Tia McNelly lives in North Carolina with her husband and two daughters. Her little piece of the internet can be found at where she blogs about hearing from God in everyday life. Tia is also the featured speaker at Collected workshops for women (@collectedwomen). These events empower communities of women all over the world to walk in the fullness of their identity with purpose and passion. With a background in maternity nursing and non-profit management, Tia is honored to have a seat on the board of Flourish Kenya, a non-profit organization that prevents and supports unplanned adolescent pregnancy in rural Kenya. (Photo credit: Find here here: blog: Collected: @collectedwomen: www.instagram/collectedwomen Flourish Kenya:

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