As a woman, there are few things worse than dealing with the “man flu.” You know, the seasons when your husband, significant other, guy friend or brother could all be contenders for the winner of “Best Actor in a Dramatic Series.”
According to scientists, man flu is a real thing.
As if justifying grown men losing their minds over a stomach ache is what we needed. Thanks science.
We see stories about it every year, as social media is an excellent outlet for women to bond over the painstaking demands of man flu. But one mama’s step-by-step breakdown of the “Man Flu” surely takes the cake.
Sydney Waters is the comical mind behind the online blog, Strollin With My Homies, and the actual winner of the internet this week with her oh-so-relatable tale of that time her husband succumbed to man flu.
“Just as sure as the sun rises and sets I can count on him to be completely useless for a solid week if he so much as sneezes,” Sydney writes, after hearing her husband, Ty, cough from the basement.
She’s reminded of a time a few years back when BOTH she and Ty were sick with the stomach flu. Sydney was also pregnant, and the couple had a 6-month-old daughter. As if she needed anything more to prove that women really are superheroes,
“I watched my husband transform right before my eyes, stumbling around saying he’s going to puke,” she wrote. “Grreeeeeat. The moment he says he’s feeling sick, my eyes automatically roll into the back of my head and touch my spine. Instant dread.”
And so begins the greatest depiction of man flu that has ever been told.
The story was recently shared on Love What Matters, and has every woman on the internet nodding in laughter saying, “Same.”
Waters goes through the stages of dread that every woman goes through when the men in our lives fall sick. It’s like the marriage version of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie,” only there’s nothing cute about it, and this is far from a bedtime story folks. We’re talking ACTUAL nightmare.
At first, she tries to be nice—even caring, encouraging her husband to get himself to the bathroom and take it easy. Of course, that quickly goes south.
“Did he take my advice? Nope,” she writes. “First stop is our kitchen sink. He pukes all over a week’s worth of dirty dishes. He’s obnoxiously loud when he’s barfing to make sure I know this is the real deal. The neighbors know it’s the real deal,” she continued. “The next town over knows too.”
Once he makes it to the bathroom, it seems that things are back on track. Once again, Sydney is poorly mistaken.
“I walk in and encounter vomit. Everywhere. But not in the toilet folks, nawwwww. In the bathtub. The freaking bathtub.”
Never mind the fact that we clean our kids in that massive puke receptacle.