Kids experience a wide range of emotions, just like adults. But unlike adults, they’re still learning how to regulate these feelings, which can be overwhelming in stressful moments. This is why having the right words at the right time can make a huge difference. Positive, calming phrases can help children learn to manage their emotions, develop resilience, and create a sense of safety. Here are 10 phrases to help kids calm down in difficult situations, along with how each one can make a difference.
Positive Phrases to Help Kids Calm Down and Diffuse Situations
When a child is overwhelmed, whether it’s due to frustration, anger, or anxiety, their brain might go into “fight or flight” mode. In these moments, calmly reminding them of supportive phrases can help ground them. These phrases not only soothe but also teach them valuable skills like self-reflection, empathy, and self-regulation. Let’s look at some specific phrases that can help your child regain control in stressful times.
1. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Validating a child’s feelings is essential for helping them calm down. This phrase acknowledges their emotions, making them feel understood and accepted. Many children might think that feeling strong emotions like anger or fear is wrong, but letting them know it’s okay can remove some of that pressure. This simple phrase can reduce their feelings of shame or guilt and encourage them to express themselves openly, which helps them calm down.
2. “Take a deep breath with me.”
This phrase gently introduces a calming technique—deep breathing—that is scientifically proven to reduce stress. By encouraging your child to take deep breaths, you help them slow down their heart rate and refocus on their breathing, pulling them away from overwhelming emotions. To make this more engaging, you could turn it into a game by counting breaths together, making it feel more like an activity than a technique.
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3. “Let’s name what we’re feeling.”
Helping a child label their emotions builds emotional awareness, which is a fundamental step in learning to self-regulate. If they’re feeling angry, sad, or scared, naming the emotion makes it more manageable. For example, saying, “It sounds like you might be feeling frustrated” can help them identify what’s going on inside. It gives them control and helps them realize that they can observe their emotions rather than be controlled by them.
4. “I’m here for you.”
Sometimes, all kids need is to know that they’re not alone (Matthew 28:20). This phrase reminds them that they have a support system and don’t have to face their feelings in isolation. It’s especially comforting for younger kids, as it provides a sense of security. By reassuring them of your presence, you’re creating a safe space where they feel free to express their emotions, making it easier for them to calm down.
5. “Let’s take a break and do something fun.”
Redirecting a child’s focus can help shift their mindset from a negative place to something more positive. This phrase acknowledges their need to calm down but also offers an alternative activity, which can reduce tension. For instance, you could suggest drawing, playing with a favorite toy, or even going for a walk. Redirecting energy this way can help them move past the difficult emotions they’re feeling.
6. “What would make you feel better right now?”
Giving children a choice can empower them in tough situations. By asking what would make them feel better, you’re encouraging them to think about solutions to their distress. This question helps them learn that they have the power to improve their situation and that they can take proactive steps to manage their emotions. Over time, this builds their confidence in handling difficult moments independently.
