The Unforgettable Thing My Daughter Said When Her Best Friend Was Called a Racial Slur

When I saw this post from Rachel Macy Stafford, the writer behind the Hands Free Revolution, about a hard moment her white daughter shared with her black best friend, I knew I had to share. Like children often do, Stafford’s daughter showed all of us adults that responding to these hard, hurtful things is simpler than we make it out to be.

In Stafford’s post, below, she shares a photo of the two girls, and says:

I’ll never forget what my daughter said after her best friend was subjected to a racist comment on the school bus one afternoon.

“I asked her if she was okay,” my child said tearfully. “She didn’t say anything, so I just scooted closer.” Reluctantly, she admitted, “I didn’t know what to do, Mama, so I just hurt with her.”

I hurt with her.

It took me a moment to recover from that.

I filed those powerful words away and continued observing this mighty pair.

She goes on to describe the girls’ friendship, saying that they clicked instantly upon meeting and always have each others’ backs, no matter what the situation. Then, Stafford goes on to make some deep statements about what we all can learn and SHOULD learn during this divisive, hurtful time in our country, and ultimately, what we should DO:

What if we collectively remember, “I’ll hurt with you,” is something we can all do when we don’t know what to do?

What if we collectively look into the eyes of our brothers and sisters to acknowledge their story and their pain rather than closing our eyes or looking away?

What if we collectively acknowledged our privileges and blessings would be even greater if shared by our sisters and brothers?

What if we collectively agree it is not “your back” or “my back,” but “our back” if we are to create a unified and peaceful world for future generations?

Jenny Rapson
Jenny is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor.

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