When You Don’t Know What To Do as a Parent, Do This

Parenting is hard work.

It seems that everything I have ever worried about (car accidents, drinking, broken hearts) hasn’t come true (knock on wood) and everything I could have never imagined (torn ACLs, crooked spines, etc.) has hit us like a ton of bricks! You can’t prepare for the challenges of parenting. And more often than not, when the unexpected occurs, we are left wondering, what the heck do I do now?

Photo courtesy of Suzanne Hayes

The hardest times of my life as a mother have occurred when I was desperately trying to control a situation over which I had zero control. Sleepless nights, endless Google searches, hours upon hours on the phone with whomever would listen….. wasted time stressing over this one question: What do I (or we) do now?

Thanks to experience, I now know the answer to this puzzling question.

DO NOTHING — until you know what’s next.

All too often we get stuck in our own sense of urgency. We want to know NOW. We think we actually NEED to know now. But 9 times out of 10, we don’t. We don’t need to act now. We don’t need to know now. The waiting and the doing nothing? It is uncomfortable. It can make us feel like we lack control over a situation or problem, but think of how many times you have acted too soon.. acted impulsively, regretted a reaction or words spoken and wished you had given it more time.

Whatever it is you are dealing with… try to do nothing at all until the solution is clear. And of course, invite God into your nothingness — your stillness — and ask him for clarity. He will deliver.

He always does.

Doing nothing is doing something — it’s doing the hard thing — the uncomfortable, the faithful and the patient thing. So trust God, trust time and trust yourself and in the meantime….just do nothing…. picture your problem (whatever it is — person, place or thing) going from your hands straight into God’s embrace… and let go.

The solution will find you at the right time. I promise.


Suzanne Hayes
Suzanne is a freelance writer whose work has been published on Scary Mommy, Today's Parent, First For Women Magazine, The Girlfriend by AARP and Working Mother Magazine. She is a divorced mom to 3 beautiful children, who often act as inspiration for her writing. She has been sober for 5 years and writes about her journey through and life in recovery from alcoholism. Visit her on facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/SuzanneEileen613/

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